


lover of mine

by chankaii



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, M/M, Minor Byun Baekhyun/Oh Sehun, Minor Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol, Non-Graphic Violence, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:35:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24037501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chankaii/pseuds/chankaii
Summary: Jongin would die and kill for Chanyeol.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 75
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes! 
> 
> (update: i changed the fic’s name)
> 
> **warning: cheating!**

“We can’t do this anymore, Chanyeol.” Jongin begins grudgingly, the words felt like a broken pieces of glass when they escaped his mouth. He should feel hurt by the rough sex they had just seconds ago, not by his broken heart. Chanyeol has already took off the used condom, throwing it out somewhere in the room without a care as always, and now smoking a cigarette beside the window.

Jongin hates him at times like these, he fucking hates him so much. Because then Chanyeol would become the most reckless bastard that Jongin’d sometimes start crying after he’s gone. It was a quiet night until he came. Once again, Chanyeol’d punched his apartment door as if he wanted to break the poor fucking thing until Jongin finally opened it, then he had pressed their lips together in a heated kiss. He was fuming once again, nothing new for Jongin. So Chanyeol first took his revenge from Jongin’s lips, latter from fucking him senseless. He’d hurt Jongin like he always did, not listening to his ‘slow down’s and just keep on slamming his cock in and out. By the time he finished himself, Jongin was sure there were fingerprints on his ass. Chanyeol didn’t even help Jongin finish himself and got up from the bed without flashing him a quick glance. He used Jongin as if he was a cheap toy he can put aside whenever he wants. Yeah, it made him feel like absolute shit. Yeah, he was too broken. But was it only his fault? Of course not. It was all Jongin’s own fault.

It was Jongin who accepted the offer of being fuckbuddies with Park Chanyeol, who is South Korea’s one of the most dangerous underground guy shit. In fact, it was Jongin who presented himself to Chanyeol. And again, it was Jongin who turns a blind eye to Chanyeol coming to him every time after having a fight with his lovely boyfriend that he’d burn the worl for..

“You can’t fuck me every time you argue with your little boyfriend. We need to end... this.” Jongin continues, showing ‘this’ with his hands. Even saying those things hurt like hell. Though they promised that there will be no fucking feelings involved. Indeed, Chanyeol had told him clearly that Jongin should mind his own business if he catches feelings, that he doesn’t give a fuck because he has a boyfriend he’d gladly sacrifice his soul to. And then Jongin had told him that he wouldn’t fall in love with a guy like him. Ever. Well, Jongin talked too soon and too big. Now he feels like he’s in a room with flames, his soul and body hurting. Chanyeol does nothing but devastates him yet he’s been madly in love with him for a long while now. No matter what he did, no matter what he said, no matter how much he hurt him. He was in love with Chanyeol. Helplessly and sickeningly.

“You weren’t complaining at all when you were moaning my name under me.” Chanyeol says, a big shitty grin on his lips. Jongin watches the smoke fading in the air. Although he heard those words too many times to count, his cheeks get pink, feeling embarrassed by what Chanyeol said. His cheeks get even pinkier when he realized he was still naked and spread out on the bed. He covers himself with the blanket hurriedly, not only because he was embarrased but because he felt cold. His body, mostly the back part where his ass is, aches so much that he can’t even bring himself to move. Yet, Jongin still doesn’t hate him for real. No matter what he says, deep down he knows that’s not true. That he will never hate Park Chanyeol truly. However, he sometimes really, _like really_ , hates him when he kisses the hell out of his boyfriend right in front of him. He hates him at those times with every cell in his body.

“Chanyeol, I know you that you know what I meant. We nee—” Jongin was cut off right when he was about to explain the same things over again by Chanyeol’s harsh tone. “Shut the fuck up, Jongin. You can’t decide whether I’ll end something or not. We’re gonna continue this as long as I want. Clear?” The sharp stares Chanyeol’s sending at him has given Jongin goosebumps that he couldn’t help hugging the blanket close to himself. At least he doesn’t give up on me, Jongin thinks. More like, he consoled himself. No matter what happened, Chanyeol has never given up on him. And Jongin knows that Chanyeol will never give up on him no matter what. He’ll maybe give up on his body, maybe he’ll get tired of him, but he’ll never leave him. And Jongin knows all these things. Because Park Chanyeol never leaves his men. Unless they break his trust, of course.

Jongin nods his head immediately after he sees the way Chanyeol lifting a brow like he’s waiting an answer. “Nice. Now take out a new condom.” He throws his cigarette outside after taking one last hit from it, closing the fucking window finally and going back to the bed. Jongin reaches out to grab a condom and a bottle of lube with trembling fingers, trying not to look at Chanyeol taking off the blanket of him. “Feel good now?” Jongin asks unsurely as he turns back to now naked Chanyeol. “Kinda,” Chanyeol murmurs despite the deep sigh he let out. “Kyungsoo keeps telling me that he doesn’t like my men tagging after him but he doesn’t have any fucking idea how dangerous walking around alone is. He’s driving me mad.”

 _Oh_. They argued over Chanyeol’s possessiveness again. It didn’t surprise Jongin. Chanyeol doesn’t even like sharing him. He once went insane after he found out that Jongin hooked up with one of his men, then fired that poor guy. There wasn’t any rule which indicates that Jongin cannot sleep with other men in their deal at all. Jongin has all the right to sleep with whoever he wants just like Chanyeol does whatever he wants with his lovely boyfriend. It was okay as long as Chanyeol isn’t informed, though. It’s not like Jongin often sleeps with other men when he’s madly in love with one man only. All of his senses have been closed after him. All he could think was Chanyeol and Chanyeol and Chanyeol. He was going insane every time he couldn’t reach Chanyeol, thinking the worst secanscenarios like maybe something bad happened to him. Oh and there were times when Chanyeol went to ‘cleaning’. In those days, Jongin wouldn’t sleep a wink till he learns Chanyeol’s safe. And there were times when Jongin, too, was with him in some of events as he was one of Chanyeol’s men. Jongin was so fucking blindly in love that he’d kill anyone who dares to touch his Chanyeol. Jongin doesn’t know how many people he killed for Chanyeol without even blinking. But all Chanyeol cared about was being between Jongin’s legs and just fucking him.

“Y-You’re driving me mad too...” Jongin whimpers as Chanyeol places himself between his legs, lubing the condom around his thick cock, and slamming it in less harhsly than the first time. He puts Jongin’s legs over his shoulders, benefiting of his flexibility, and starts to move his hips.

Jongin loves it when he is able to see Chanyeol’s handsome face during sex the most. Chanyeol mostly prefers the positions where he doesn’t have to see Jongin’s face, though. Jongin guesses that Chanyeol thinks he appeases his conscience this way. “Is that so? I’m driving you mad, huh?” Finally, Chanyeol’s sour mood has faded away and he gives Jongin a smirk that makes his heart jump in his chest. Jongin rocks his hips against him with a whine when Chanyeol slows down his pace on purpose but he stops Jongin by digging his nails into the flesh of his ass and keeps thrusting into him at a slow pace. It’s clear that he’s taking pleasure from it, watching Jongin’s gruntings with a shitty grin on his kissable lips. “You’re driving me crazy.” He finally starts fucking him hard and fast, skin against skin filling the room and Jongin tries to drown out the noise by moaning loudly. “I’ll fuck you until you faint if you ever tease me around Kyungsoo one more fucking time. You hear me, Jongin? I will fuck you until you can’t walk straight for days.” Jongin nods his head immediately as Chanyeol’s voice gets icy like his eyes. He wanted to play with Chanyeol today at their meeting, under the desk where people gathered around, and he screwed up as it was clear from looking at his sharp, icy eyes. Jongin was lucky that Chanyeol didn’t kill him right there. Kyungsoo was a sensitive topic for Chanyeol and he was already feeling so guilty about cheating on him that it clearly made him go crazy when Jongin did something like that right beside his beloved boyfriend.

“You’re doing great, baby.”

 _Fuck_. He called Jongin baby. Jongin would feel like in clouds whenever Chanyeol called him like that. He would feel precious although he wasn’t anything like that to him. Once in a while, Chanyeol would make him feel precious. Other times, he would make him feel like shit but however, Jongin doesn’t want to remember those times right now. “You’re so warm.” Chanyeol begins tracing his cold fingertips along Jongin’s nipples, making him closing his eyes from the great pleasure he receives. He strokes Jongin’s hard nipples, earning a lustful moan in return. When Chanyeol’s hand climbs up to his throat, Jongin thinks he’s going to choke him again like he did last time. They have the same kinks, perhaps that was why Chanyeol loves having sex with Jongin. He once blurted out that Kyungsoo doesn’t like that kind of things. Probably their sex session was always the same, nothing exciting, but at least there was love. They were doing with love. But with Jongin, there was only lust. Full of lust. If they don’t count Jongin of course.

His eyes shoot open when he feels Chanyeol’s rough hands. However, Chanyeol didn’t choke him. Instead, he pulls Jongin’s jaw down, which Jongin willingly obeys, and welcoming Chanyeol’s fingers in his mouth. They taste like cigarette but Jongin likes it anyway. He begins sucking at them without breaking the eye contact as if wanting him to go crazy, making Chanyeol sigh loudly. His thrusts become harder, faster and deeper. Jongin thinks he can’t last long with the way Chanyeol fucking into him. “Mmm…” Jongin hums around Chanyeol’s long fingers as Chanyeol keeps adding more fingers into his mouth. “You’re something else, Jongin. You really are.” He was shaking his head while biting his bottom lip, watching how his fingers disappear inside Jongin’s little mouth. He pushes his cock in as he pushes his fingers at the same time, finding a pace between them, constantly hitting his prostate. Saliva dripping down his chin but Jongin couldn’t care less when he feels like this good.

“I’m close. Want me to cum in your mouth?” Sometimes Chanyeol wouldn’t even ask. He pulls his cock out when Jongin nods eagerly and throws the condom away. Jongin hurriedly gets on his knees and watches Chanyeol wrapping a hand around his throbbing cock and jerking off himself. “Fuck, Jongin!” He nearly screams as Jongin takes his cock into his mouth, letting out a relaxed breath, hands grabbing Jongin’s hair. As he was so close, it didn’t take too long for him to come. He cums down Jongin’s throat and doesn’t pull out until Jongin sucks him clean and his dick gets soft. Knowing Chanyeol won’t touch it, Jongin grabs his own untouched cock and starts jerking himself off. It wouldn’t take long for him to reach his own climax when Chanyeol’s standing right in front of him, watching his every movement carefully. Jongin was so fucking close that he spilled over his hand with a scream of Chanyeol’s name when he suddenly touched Jongin’s cock. Jongin was surprised by Chanyeol’s sudden touch. He wouldn’t jerk him off. Never. So it surprises Jongin who throws himself back on the bed tiredly, Chanyeol’s taste in his mouth. He feels blissful, enjoying the amazing aftermath. 

“Are you gonna stay here tonight?” He can’t help asking, hopefully, after a minute of silence. He closes his eyes, not wanting to witness the regret look on Chanyeol’s when he leaves his house, him. Jongin wants nothing but him to stay here. With him. Sometimes he wouldn’t go back to their home, go back to his Kyungsoo when they had a big fight. How much of a bitch he is to hope that this was like those fights?

Jongin hears Chanyeol breathing deeply. “I don’t know.” He mumbles, voice unsure. Jongin screws his eyes close shut as he feels Chanyeol moving on the bed. No, he’s not going to cry for him. For leaving him. He knows Chanyeol’ll always go back to Kyungsoo. His heart isn’t aching. Nope. Not at all.

“I think I’m gonna spend the night here. I don’t have energy to argue with Soo right now.” Afterwards, Jongin feels his weight right beside him. Wanting to confirm it with his own eyes if Chanyeol’s really here, Jongin opens his eyes slowly and smiling like a idiot upon seeing him. He’s here. They’re face to face. And Jongin can’t help feeling the happiest person on earth.

He would hug Chanyeol to sleep… _if_ he let him of course. If not, he’d hug him when he was asleep, then acting like he didn’t do it on purpose in the morning. Maybe if Jongin was lucky enough, he’d kiss him on the neck. He loves his smell. Even though part of him smells mostly, awfully, like Kyungsoo, Jongin likes it anyway. He despises his heart for breaking that Chanyeol smells like his boyfriend.

“Goodnight, Jongin.”

Chanyeol closes his eyes but Jongin continues to watch him longingly for a while. And when he makes sure Chanyeol’s asleep, he crawls closer to his chest like a kitten and wrapping a hand around his body. “Goodnight to you too, Chanyeol.”

Now he feels like he’s in the safest place.

In the morning, Chanyeol was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked it! it’s been a while since i posted something and i think i MISSED it a lot. i don’t know if the tags are enough tho?? so i’d appreciate if you help me with tagging lmao 
> 
> don’t forget to leave kudos and comment, love you all <3 
> 
> have a nice day/evening/night everyone :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i changed the title of the fic hehe 
> 
> it was supposed to be a pwp but most of you wanted me to continue it so here i am!! i decided to make it chaptered as there were requests i honestly didn’t think people would like it. i wanted to give it a chance sooo i hope you like it :’) 
> 
> english isn’t my first language, sorry if there are any typos/mistakes

Jongin’s feelings are complicated. Always have been. Since he met the ‘Park Chanyeol’. Four years ago.

Everything began four years ago, and honestly, Jongin doesn’t exactly remember how was his life before him. And he does definitely not want to remember it, either. All he remembers is that his life began with meeting Chanyeol, and will probably end when Chanyeol’s gone. How was his life before him doesn’t matter. All that truly matters is Chanyeol’s his everything. Chanyeol is all he needs.

He gave him breath. A breath to live. A breath for a better life because his life before him wasn’t that good at all. Had never been. This life in which he kills for Chanyeol, lives for Chanyeol and would do anything for Chanyeol is better than everything he went through for years although it doesn’t seem like it. Not everyone would okay with killing people for living. But Jongin has never been like them. Jongin would gladly accept ending lives rather than letting people fuck his life. He’s been there. Once, twice, thrice and so on. He had let people whatever they want with him. For living. For breathing. Although he had no one, no home to go and no family, he wanted to live. For what? He found his answer when he finally met Park Chanyeol in a cold, so cold January night.

He’d lost his way. Lost his destination. Lost his purpose. Not knowing what to do with life. Just wanting to have a better life. People used him for their own needs and it was fine with Jongin. He didn’t value his body, soul or whatever. So it was fine. Until it wasn’t. Jongin knew when to stop it. Knew when to say no. _No, I don’t want it._ And they would leave him. But one night, it changed. They didn’t let him go. Beat him up when he responded to them. Beating him up to the nearly death. Jongin thought he’d die there. Desperate and miserable. All alone. He had always been all alone throughout his life. So yeah, he even stopped fighting back. Accepting his ill fate. He lived long enough than he thought anyway. This was it. This was where Kim Jongin who never achieved anything in his life died.

Yet, he still wanted to live. And for what? For Chanyeol. He had to live for Chanyeol. Because that was the first thing he said to Jongin when he found him in a blind alley, almost losing his consciousness, blood everywhere. He came in the right time. He found him just as he lost the last bit of hope left. He fought for him. For his life. Even when Jongin hadn’t done that. He killed for him. And then, he held him in his arms. Told him to live. Breathe. _For him_. Since that night, Chanyeol has never left his side. And Jongin would never, never leave him behind. His side. He made a promise. A promise he won’t ever break no matter what. He devoted his all life to Chanyeol.

Chanyeol who gave him breath, a better life, purpose to live. Chanyeol who is the most dangerous yet lovable guy inside Jongin’s ever met. Chanyeol who hurts him the most, but whom he loves the most. Chanyeol who helped him to find love.

“You’re so sick in love, man.” Sehun pokes his shoulder lightly, making Jongin come to himself. He shakes his head in an attempt to clear his mind and take off his eyes of Chanyeol. It was a hard thing to do when the love of his life stood there, looking like a God and testing the new guns they purchased a few days ago. He was in a expensive suit as always, tight black suit that makes Jongin drool every time he wears it. It hasn’t been a time where Jongin didn’t drool over those tight white shirt that shows how muscly he is and again tight black pants wrapping around his thick thighs. What Sehun said didn’t even bother him as he was sure nearly everyone has known his infatuation with Chanyeol already. Even if they don’t know Jongin’s madly in love with him, they surely know Jongin would do anything for Chanyeol. Some people was scared of what Jongin can turn into when someone dares to touch him. They were scared because Jongin would lose himself. His mind, his sanity. His everything. When it comes to Chanyeol. Although Jongin tries not to show his very interest in Chanyeol, there were times he couldn’t hide it. It was okay as long as Kyungsoo doesn’t get it. Jongin was pretty sure Kyungsoo got it, though. But, anyways. Even though him and Kyungsoo don’t get along well, they respect each other. He saved Kyungsoo’s life one time after all. He couldn’t dare to say anything to Jongin.

“Shut up.” Jongin mutters under his breath. He feels hot all of a sudden. Is it really hot here? Or is it because of a certain guy over there? “Who do I have to seduce today? Please, don’t let it be an old man again.” He makes a gag noise, remembering the last time he undercovered.

Sehun laughs next to him. “No, no. He’s known as Ravi. Not much older than Chanyeol, I think. You’ll approach him in the bar he’s a frequent tonight. We’ll be there and watch over you. You just need to make it to his place and then we’ll know where that motherfucker lives in.”

“How the fuck we haven’t found where he lives?” Jongin asks with a confused voice. They were good with these shits. They always get every informations they need. Even they don’t need sometimes. It was fucking easy to access to everything with their gang. But this was not what Jongin got used to. This was something. He didn’t like it. Something inside of him is not comfortable with this fact.

Sehun just shrugs mindlessly, his mind is probably elsewhere and Jongin does know where his mind is with the way he’s staring at Byun Baekhyun, Chanyeol’s younger step-brother. Although their mother weren’t same, they were no different than being real brothers. Sehun looks like he’s watching over Chanyeol in case something might happen but Jongin knows his friend well that Chanyeol’s not the one whom Sehun cares right now. “I don’t know. We just... haven’t.” He immediately turns his face to him when Baekhyun raises his head, almost cathing Sehun looking right at him. “Uh... That Ravi man is like a ghost. No one knows where he lives, what he does and what he likes. Except the fact that he takes over our deals. He just came out of nowhere and took control of our neighborhood on the east like he fucking owns it. Chanyeol wants to kill him. After he learns what the fuck that bastard wants of course. So you need to go to his place and put bugs on everything you reach. Easy.”

Yeah, easy. That wasn’t a hard task Jongin had done. He had gone to much dangerous missions than this several times. He has a talent to seduce whoever he wants so he didn’t want it go wasted even though Chanyeol insisted that he doesn’t need to do it. He’d never make Jongin do something he doesn’t want. Jongin knows he’s good at seducing people and nobody does it like him. Seduce and kill.

Still, he has a different feeling about the plan this time. An uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his chest settling down. Jongin doesn’t know what it indicates but he doesn’t like the feeling. Maybe it’s because he woke up to the absence of Chanyeol next to him in the morning. He hoped like an idiot that maybe, just maybe, Chanyeol would be there when he opened his eyes. Yet, he was gone like he never came there at all. He was gone to his love, leaving Jongin again. Jongin was already used to Chanyeol leaving him to go to his Kyungsoo. But seeing it with his own eyes was completely another case.

At least he wasn’t the only one loving someone whom he’s not supposed to.

“You know, Chanyeol would take out your eyeballs if he ever found out about your not so little crush on his brother.” Jongin grins at Sehun’s pale face as both of them know it wasn’t something Chanyeol‘d never done before. He watches Sehun gulping after sending a look to Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s way. “He won’t know unless you tell him.”

And everyone does know Jongin would never hide something from Chanyeol.

“Hmm,” Jongin makes a face as if he’s thinking. “I’ll think about it.”

He sees Sehun shiver and bursts out laughing. “Please don’t tell him, Jongin. I don’t want to die without kissing, well, you know who he is.”

“Wow, impressive. You have faith. Do you really think you’d get the chance to kiss him one day?” Sehun looks so miserable now. “Bet you can’t even kiss him on the cheeks, idiot.” Jongin presses more on it, making Sehun frown.

“I’ll make you regret for your words. You’ll see, Kim Jongin.” He gives him a determined look and Jongin giggles, satisfied with the respond. A little pressure wouldn’t hurt. He really wants to see Sehun trying hard to get Baekhyun. Sehun needed a push and Jongin gave him the hardest push ever. Now, finally, Sehun would make a move on Baekhyun.

“Jongin! Come over here.”

Jongin stops laughing when he hears Chanyeol’s voice, running to his side without thinking. Jongin could tell Chanyeol’s still mad and in a sour mood, their last night activity didn’t lessen his madness it seems. He’d give him a blowjob right here and now if it weren’t for the people around them. Fuck his men, Jongin thinks. He wants to suck Chanyeol off now. Badly.

However, Chanyeol interrupts his dirty thoughts with a question, “Did Sehun tell you about the plan?”

Jongin nods.

“Do you want it?”

Jongin nods again.

“Jongin, use your fucking mouth or I swear.” Jongin almost heard ‘or I swear I’ll fuck your mouth’ implied in and he feels excited all over.

“I can use my mouth on something else if you want.” He smiles teasingly, eyes lingering on his bulge on purpose which makes Chanyeol let out a shaky sigh. “Jongin.” He warns with that tone of him that always makes Jongin quiver. “Not now. Answer my questions first.”

Jongin rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’ve got this. Don’t worry. Can I suck your dick now?”

That has Chanyeol sighing loudly, Jongin’s seductive looks don’t help it either. “Maybe if you do a good job tonight, I’ll give you a reward.”

Jongin whines immediately, attracting attention on them. “But I want it now! You know I’m always the best.” He steps on his personal space, hands wandering Chanyeol’s chest daringly. Chanyeol eyes his men before making sure no one doesn’t pay attention to them. Jongin flutters his eyelashes at him and Chanyeol couldn’t hold himself anymore. “Fine. Let’s go to my office.”

Jongin doesn’t remember how he manages to climb up the stairs with his wiggly legs. At some point, Chanyeol helps him to stand on his feet, wrapping a hand around his waist to direct. As soon as they enter Chanyeol’s office room and the door’s closed, Jongin presses his lips against Chanyeol’s. He can’t believe he really missed those lips even if it hasn’t been a day. He can’t get out of him. It’s not enough. No matter what they do, it’s never enough for Jongin. He always wants, wants, wants more. More, more and more.

Chanyeol suddenly lifts him up, carrying them to the chair behind his desk, and sitting on it with Jongin on his lap. They keep making out, hungrily and heatedly as if they hadn’t fucked in a while when they just fucked a few hours ago. Chanyeol kisses him like there’s no tomorrow, like he’s taking his anger out on his lips. And Jongin loves it. He loves it when Chanyeol’s rough with him.

“Be a good boy,” is the first thing Chanyeol says after breaking away from the kiss but not without biting his bottom lip. Jongin whimpers at the sweet pain, getting up from Chanyeol’s lap and gets down onto his knees on the floor, right between Chanyeol’s thick thighs. Chanyeol helps him with dropping down his pants and briefs enough to reveal his half-hard cock. Jongin smiles at the way Chanyeol’s dick twitches under his stares, letting out a soft moan when Jongin buries his face into his crotch, smelling the musky scent. One of his hands wrap around his member, stroking it to the full hardness. It didn’t take long for it to reach his full hardness as he kept stroking, peppering kisses and nibbles along his inner thighs. “J-Jongin...” Chanyeol pulls him by hair, gently. “Stop teasing.” Jongin finally wraps his small plump lips around Chanyeol’s now hard pre-cum leaking cock. “Do it fast, I need to go back.” Jongin nods before beginning to suck his cock, cutting the teasing.

Jongin puts his other empty hand around the length where he couldn’t take into his mouth as he was large, his head bobbing up and down at the same with his hands. Rough hands gripping Jongin’s hair, Chanyeol lets out a low moan, eyes shut and voice hoarse. “Yeah, t-take my cock. All of it.” He presses his face to take it deeper into his mouth. Jongin obeys immediately, taking it until the tip of his cock hits the back of his throat. He almost chokes on it but Chanyeol doesn’t let him and starts fucking Jongin’s little mouth. Jongin doesn’t know how long he lets Chanyeol use his mouth, he just obeys. Because he’s a good boy. He’s only good for Chanyeol.He lets Chanyeol do whatever he likes. When his hands get tired of fucking, Jongin takes the control again and deepthroats him as he knows Chanyeol’s too close. His moans get louder and louder every time his cock goes deeper. “I’m... I’m gonna come.” He manages to say just before he spills his hot cum into his mouth with a blissed face.

Jongin swallows every bit of it as the good boy he is, earning a pet on his hair. “You did amazing, baby.” He pulls dazed Jongin into his lap and kisses his lips softly. So softly that Jongin doesn’t reciprocate for a second, still astonished at the way Chanyeol called him baby again, and kissing him like... like he kisses Kyungsoo. No, he never kisses Jongin like that. This must be an aftermath shit. Chanyeol doesn’t keep it long, anyway.

“Are you still sure you want to do it tonight?” He asks as if wanting to make sure one last time. “Of course, babe. No worries.”

“I’m not—“ Jongin shushes him by giving a chaste kiss on the lips. “Yeah, I know. I’m not gonna fuck it up.”

Chanyeol then begins staring at his eyes, longingly, as if he’s searching something Jongin has yet to know. He keeps only looking at them, saying nothing. For what feels like an eternity, he eventually nods, voice so low. “Okay.”

 _Just an ‘okay’? Yeah, thanks for that asshole._ Jongin resists the urge to roll his eyes, Chanyeol doesn’t like it when he does that so he turns around to go back to downstairs. But he is stopped by Chanyeol while he’s about to get up from his comfy lap, grabbed by his wrist gently. Jongin turns his head to face him, curiously, and expectingly. Chanyeol, again, keeps his silent for a whole minute until he lets his expression soften. “Be careful, ‘kay?”

A smile spreads across Jongin’s face, his heart going crazy in his chest and he couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot. Although Chanyeol didn’t say anything so big, it was important for him. It was something. He craved for something.

Chanyeol’s big hand was still clutching his wrist, and Jongin has a hard time believing all of this is really happening. Chanyeol never, never shows affection or intimacy. It’s all new for Jongin. “Uh-huh.” He was too dumb to say anything logical at the moment. He doesn’t think he could talk right now. Or walk. And Chanyeol notices it, flashing him a small smile, and then he drops Jongin’s hand. Fuck. What the fuck was that? Jongin has already missed his warmth.

But he has to go. To get ready for tonight. To get ready for what might come.

Stealing one last glance at Chanyeol, Jongin leaves him with a smile full of love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don’t forget to leave comments i wanna hear your thoughts 💕💕💕
> 
> (and you can give me ideas sjakdks i’d really appreciate it)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// drugging

Jongin thought it’d be easy. Sehun said it’d be easy. Everyone thought it’d be easy. It’d go smoothly, they said. You know what to do, Jongin. Easy, easy, easy. 

Yet no one knew tonight would change everything. 

  
Jongin makes himself as presentable as he could. He wears the expensive cologne Chanyeol bought him for Christmas. There are times Chanyeol is not being a dick of course. To Jongin. Or to anyone except Kyungsoo. Jongin doesn’t remember him being a dick towards Kyungsoo. Ever. It seems that Chanyeol loves being a dick around them specially. Jongin wishes he could hate him so that it would be easy to ignore him. All of him. But he has dedicated his whole life to him. Him only. And Jongin never breaks his word. Even if it breaks him. He doesn’t like backing out. It’s not in his book. 

He likes keeping his promises. And this is one of the nights in which he’s ready to keep his promise, to gather informations and to seduce the bad guy. Jongin didn’t bring his gun with him just in case things get spicy and he has to undress himself. He can’t ruin the mission. He can’t fuck this up because he has promised Chanyeol that he wouldn’t do it. He can’t disappoint Chanyeol and this is why he comes empty handed. It’s not like Jongin can’t take care of himself. He could handle anything with his bare hands if he has to. If it’s necessary. 

And he’s got Chanyeol, his men. Although he’s not able to see Chanyeol as he’s hidden in a private place, he could see Sehun drinking over there, pretending like he’s flirting with a girl. It gives Jongin confidence that he knows they are here. That their eyes on him. They wouldn’t spend a second to protect him if anything ever happens to him. He knows and it assures him. 

“Our man is here.” Jongin hears Junmyeon’s voice in his left ear where there’s a tiny device letting him connect to Junmyeon through it easily. Junmyeon is the brain of their gang and he gets mad when Jongin calls him ‘hacker’ as a teasing. He’s just happened to be good with technology and more clever than us. His words, not Jongin’s. “He’s got an undercut hair, wearing glasses and looking fine as hell. Oh my God... He looks like a fuck—“

“Hyung, I got it. Please, keep your dirty thoughts to yourself. It’s too hard to not spot him with those bodyguards around him.” Jongin sighs, trying to make out his target’s face while dancing on the floor with the crazy crowd. He couldn’t see his face from where he’s standing but as soon as the guy sits down on a table which is reserved for certain people with lots of money only, Jongin is astonished. 

“Oh,” is the first thing he mutters, without realizing, as soon as his eyes land on the guy’s face. He’s stunned. For a whole minute. He didn’t think that Ravi guy would be so fucking hot. He’d expected an old man with a belly fat. Not a hot guy with a strong body. “Fuck. He’s so sexy.”

“Yeah, right?!” Junmyeon chirps, sounding very excited now that Jongin joins him. “Like, I could definitely suck his—“

“Jun, stop it.” Jongin hears Chanyeol’s stern voice and feels giddy in the stomach. So he’s with Junmyeon, Jongin concludes. It’s good. “I get what you mean, hyung. I would suck his dick too if he wasn’t our enemy. I bet his dick is big. Look at him—“

“Jongin.” Chanyeol cuts him off this time. Voice louder than before. “Don’t make me come down there.”

Jongin can’t help grinning. There’s nothing he loves more than teasing Chanyeol, he always gets teased easily. “What? You’d prefer me sucking your dick instead? You know how I love—“ 

“Jongin!” Chanyeol yells at him and Jongin was sure everyone in the bar heard his yelling. It makes him quiver. But in a horny way. “Focus on your mission, not on dicks.”

Someone’s jealous. Jongin thinks and oh, he wishes. He wishes it were like that. But it’s not and Jongin hates that. He hates that Chanyeol’s only thinking of work. Only work. 

“I’m gonna go get that dick.” He declares, all of a sudden, making his mind. Wasn’t it his mission, anyway? Jongin could fuck anyone if he wants. He could suck any dick he wants. Chanyeol is just his boss. He can’t interfere in his life. Jongin can make his own decisions. Chanyeol is just his boss, and his lover... Jongin does know Chanyeol is more than his boss. The problem is he’ll never be like this for Chanyeol. So it doesn’t matter what Chanyeol means for him. It will only matter in the other way.

“Yeah, Jongin, get that dick for me!” Junmyeon encourages him on the other side of the line. He hears an applause and immediately after a harsh warning from Chanyeol that says ‘Stop it or I’ll break your fingers, Jun’. Jongin doesn’t hide his amused smile. He feels confident all over again.

“Watch me.” He says with a determined voice before making his way towards the middle of the floor. He doesn’t know where Chanyeol and Junmyeon are but he hopes that he’s in their sight because he wants them to watch what he’s going to do.

He bites his bottom lip, then starts dancing along to the loud music. Someone he doesn’t even want to know grabs his waist not long after and Jongin begins to dance wildly with him. “You’re so hot,” The boy who moves Jongin’s hips against his crotch whispers in his ear. Jongin gives his answer by grinding against him, a playful smirk on his lips. He could hear Junmyeon’s giggles and Chanyeol’s grunts. People start to make a circle around them, clapping their hands and watching Jongin in awe. Jongin does some hip thrusts when he makes sure he attracts enough attention, making eye contact with his target. Just like he expected, Ravi’s watching him with his glistening eyes. He sends Jongin a pleased grin, raising his glass. Jongin winks at him and dances back in a sensual way.

“Enough, Jongin. Get back to your fucking mission.” He has to call it quits when Chanyeol talks to him. The crowd keeps cheering for him even when he thanks them and makes his way to the bar as he feels thirsty. He spots Sehun right across him, grinning at him frantically. Jongin knows how to seduce people, he could write a book about it. So, it doesn’t surprise him when bartender gives him a martini instead of what he ordered. “It’s from Ravi.” Bartender says like everyone in this bar has to know who Ravi is, pointing the guy watching Jongin across the room. Jongin acts like he’s impressed while turning around to look at him, accepting the drink with a bite on his lower lip.

He moves through the crowd to get close to Ravi but he’s immediately stopped by his huge bodyguards. “Let him in,” And finally, Jongin hears the man’s voice. Jongin thinks he hasn’t felt like this excited since Chanyeol. His heart thumps hard in his chest as he goes closer to him. Ravi pats the spot right next to him, “Welcome, sweetheart.”

Jongin sits down, dangerously close to him. “I came here to thank for the drink.” He raises his glass and Ravi clinks his own glass with Jongin’s. “You can show how thankful you are in my bed if you want.”

Jongin didn’t exactly expect it from him so he was clearly surprised this time and couldn’t hide his amusement. “You’re very straightforward, aren’t you?”

Ravi nods, eyes lingering on his collarbones. Jongin’d opened few buttons of his shirt on purpose before he came here. “So what’s your answer? Will you come to my house and entertain me all night long?”

Jongin wants to laugh at how easy Ravi made it for him. He just came here and the first thing he said to him was this. He didn’t think it’d be that easy. Even Junmyeon whistles at his success. He tries not to laugh at Junmyeon’s ‘get that dick, get that dick’ cheers.

He hears Chanyeol then. “Jongin, I don’t think—“

“Yeah, sure. Show me how big your bed is or... you can show me big your other thing is, you know.”

Ravi chuckles at that. “I’ll show you everything you can’t imagine.”

Jongin likes how determined he sounds. He grabs his hand gently when he holds out to him, then they go to the exit together with his men. He ignores Chanyeol’s, “This is so fucking dangerous, Jongin. Don’t you fucking get on that car. He has almost an army with him and you’ll be all alone!” 

He could handle them. Nothing won’t happen to him. Not like he has never sneaked inside a mafia. He has done that multiple times. 

Ravi opens the door of his car for him, “I hope you enjoy the ride, it’ll be a long ass ride.”

Jongin gets on the car, Ravi following his movement after him. “You know, we can do nasty things to enjoy the ride then.” Ravi’s smile in return gives Jongin chills. Perhaps Jongin shouldn’t suggest this ‘cause the way Ravi’s looking at him with a mysterious expression on his face that Jongin couldn’t read starts to make him feel kinda uncomfortable. He realizes a tad too late that yeah, he does not fucking know this guy except his stupid nickname. And now he’s in the back of a luxurious car with that guy, driving to god knows where— Jongin couldn’t make out the road through the tinted windows. He could only hope Chanyeol or Sehun‘s following them.

“I like your dancing,” Ravi says after getting closer to him on the seat. “You should dance for me sometime.”

Sometime. Jongin doesn’t know if they ever see each other again. Hell no. He doesn’t think so. He could only see him when Chanyeol comes to shoot his head off.

Jongin gives him the most prettiest smile. “You gotta earn it first.” The next thing Jongin knows is Ravi hurriedly presses their lips together in a passionate kiss that melts Jongin. He whimpers when Ravi bites his lower lip to make him open his mouth, tongue sliding in easily. He tastes like whiskey and something Jongin can’t remember what it is. Surprisingly, Jongin likes kissing him. He doesn’t need to fake his moans slipping from his lips. Ravi kisses him like there’s no tomorrow and Jongin loses the track of time when they start to make out like two horny teenagers. “You’re so sweet,” Ravi whispers into his ear, voice hoarse and mouth swollen. “I could fuck you right here. Would you like it?”

Jongin has lost the ability to think right, and the other voice in his ear distracts him for a second. “Jongin, fuck, we lost you! You have to tell us where you’re going right now.” Junmyeon’s voice comes out in a worried tone. 

Jongin gulps, trying to look outside over Ravi’s shoulder to see anything but all he sees is darkness. “I can’t see anything, baby. Where are we going?”

Ravi captures his lips again before he replies his question. “You don’t need to know.” Jongin pulls away and he sees a dark gaze on Ravi’s face. It sends a shiver down his spine. He feels so uncomfortable. Something is not right. “What’s wrong, Kai?”

Jongin freezes. He doesn’t remember that he ever said a name to him. “Jongin.” He hears Chanyeol’s voice this time. He sounds like he’s trying to be calm and not scare Jongin off. “Stop the car and get the fuck out of there. Now.”

“I— You...” He couldn’t finish his sentence as he suddenly felt a sting in his right arm. Ravi just took out a injector out of nowhere and jabbed it into his flesh without giving Jongin a chance to protect himself. “What... the fuck... did you do to me?” Jongin suddenly begins to feel dizzy and numb. Every part of his body is tingling. “It‘s temporary, baby. You won’t make a move and talk but you’ll be able to hear me. It’ll go off after an hour, you don’t need to be afraid. Alright?”

Jongin can’t open his mouth this time when he tries. He tries to raise his hand but he feels nothing. Oh god, he doesn’t feel his fingers. 

“Let’s take this off, hm?” Ravi takes off the bug inside his ear and throws it outside the car window. When he comes back to him, a smirk has formed on his face. “Did you really think I wouldn’t recognize you?” He laughs at what he said as if it was the funniest thing he’s ever heard. Jongin doesn’t feel but instead he sees the way Ravi’s fingers stroke his cheek. He tries to pull away but he couldn’t move a bit. Fuck. He can’t even think straight. His mind feels so dizzy. He can’t even feel his mind. 

Of fucking course he knew Jongin. Of course he knew him all along. How could he be so stupid? He went with him. Chanyeol said not to do it yet he didn’t listen. He should’ve known better. He should’ve listened to Chanyeol and himself. He knew something was off the moment Ravi gave him the look that screamed dangerous.

“Did you really think it’d be easy to win over me? You fucking idiots.” He laughs again and it echoes in Jongin’s ears. On and on. He could hear his laughing even when he stops. And he can’t do anything about it. It makes him feel so fucking mad and insecure. His sight becomes fuzzy because of what that fucker gave him, eyes too heavy. Such a fool they were. They really thought it would be easy.

Now Jongin’s laying in a weird way, feeling numb and heavy, staying still. The tingling is still there and it fucking irritates Jongin so much that doing nothing makes him feel more angry. He wants to kill Ravi. Oh how much he wanted him just a few minutes ago and now the tables have turned.

He tries to kick him when Ravi raises his hand, thinking he’ll slap him or something. But the pain he expects never comes. “I won’t hurt you. Not now, anyway. I wouldn’t let something happen to your beautiful face.” He leans in to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. “I will just send a message to your boss through you. Now listen to my words carefully. I need you to deliver it just like I said, okay?” He gets closer to his ear and Jongin visibly shakes. “I will come for him and his men. I will steal that throne from him. And do you wanna know what will I also do?” He trails his tongue down to his neck. “I will make you be mine ‘cause I really like you. You’ll be _my_ little bitch only then.”

Ravi leans over his limp body to open the car’s door, Jongin’s eyes widen. He tries to shake his head as if to say ‘no’. They’ve crossed the damn limit and driving into the nowhere. Jongin still can’t see anything but darkness. “We’ll meet again. Very soon. Take care of yourself, honey.”

And then, Ravi throws him outside like he was a fucking trash. He literally threw him out of a speeding car. Jongin does feel it. The pain. He finally feels something when his body hits the ground and it was pain. He starts to roll and roll and roll on the ground until he slows down. It feels like it would never stop. He lost the count of how many times his head hit the ground. All he could feel is pain. All part of his body is aching and burning. He feels woozy by the time he stops rolling on. He has never felt like this before. He remembered the time when he was first shot, but it wasn’t an actual shot, the bullet had brushed past his arm. Still it burned. Like he feels right now. But now all of his body is burning. All of him. Part of him is still numb but he realizes he can move his fingers now. A whimper escapes his mouth yet he wanted to scream. Scream Chanyeol’s name. He doesn’t where he is. He doesn’t know if they ever could find him.

He’s all alone again. In the darkness. Hurt and ruined. All his life, this is what Jongin has always been afraid of. Lying in the dark, hurt and alone, dying. He remembers himself of four years ago, in a situation like this, losing his hope. But everything has changed since then. Because there’s hope this time. Because he has Chanyeol now. He has hope. Chanyeol would always save him. He saved him several times. He could wait for him. Even if it takes hours, days, weeks and years. He will wait for Chanyeol. He would find him. Yeah, he has left him too many times to count, but tonight he wouldn’t leave Chanyeol alone and his side.

Jongin waits. He tries his very best to stay awake. He needs to stay awake for Chanyeol. The pain is everywhere but not in his heart for once. His heart is warm with the hope. His Chanyeol once told him to live for him, so Jongin is going to keep his promise. He doesn’t like breaking promises. Yet a promise has never been too hard to keep before. He needs to be strong. Chanyeol’d be there in a second. But why does it feel like the time has stopped? Where’s Chanyeol? Where has Chanyeol been?

“Please...” He pleads, begs and prays. Suddenly keeping his eyes open becomes hard. Too hard. His breathing gets heavy. The more the time goes on, the more he feels the pain enveloping his body. The effect of the drug Ravi used has finally died down now. Jongin can’t decide whether he should be happy that the fucking numbness has gone because now all he feels is pain, pain, pain. He is most probably bleeding. He has got some cuts here and there on his skin. He could feel them sting. 

There is still a dizzy feeling that doesn’t go away. He feels so sick. He would have threw up if he had the strength to move without feeling like his bones were badly broken. Oh, probably some of them were broken as they should be. That bastard threw him from a speeding car. Of course his situation was bad.

Where’s Chanyeol? He thinks about him again. He doesn’t know what time it is but it feels like it’s been an hour since he fell and lied down here. Panicking, he shoots his eyes open when they closed by themselves. He begins to count the stars in order to stay awake. One, two, three and... His eyes are closed in the middle of it. He tries again. One, two, three, four. He made it until five this time.

One, two, three, four, five and Chanyeol.

Oh, _Chanyeol_. He’s coming. The sound of a car and the light that flashes in his eyes cannot be his own stupid imagination. Chanyeol came for him. Chanyeol’s here. He smiles weakly upon hearing Chanyeol calling his name, running towards him. 

“Jongin! Jongin, Jongin, Jongin.” He shouts his name over and over until he settles down right beside him. “Oh my Jongin. I’m here. I found you, baby. Stay with me, won’t you?” His hands go to his hair immediately and he strokes it to try to calm him down when Jongin begins to cry upon seeing him. Chanyeol’s here. He’s here. He found him. Jongin knew he would find him. Even he was so far away, Chanyeol would find him nevertheless. It was something that will never change. “Hey hey, don’t cry. It’s okay, Nini.”

He hugs him close to his chest and this is the last thing Jongin sees when he finally gives in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait i kinda forgot i have a fic going on and i was busy with my finals BUT now i’m free 🥰 i hope the next chapter won’t be this late!!
> 
> lemme hear your thoughts abt this chapter 💓 
> 
> love you all. stay safe and healthy!!
> 
> https://dotherightthing.carrd.co/


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if there are any mistakes, enjoy reading! :)

Warmth finally envelops all of him after the brutal cold that feels like it's never going to end. That brutal cold that he is very similar without Chanyeol around him all the time. He hates feeling cold. But Chanyeol's always warm, so warm and even the thought of him would ignite something inside Jongin. Even the thought of him warms his insides, mostly his heart though. Although Jongin can't see him, he knows he's here. He knows that familiar warmth. Nobody, and nothing, has ever made him feel this warm. He doesn't need to open his eyes to prove it's Chanyeol who's holding him as if all his life's dependent on him. He could tell it apart wherever he goes. That warmth whenever Chanyeol looks him in the eyes longer than he should. That warmth whenever he hugs Chanyeol to the sleep. That warmth whenever Chanyeol calls him sweet names. That warmth whenever he’s with Chanyeol. Oh. He can feel Chanyeol everywhere. He’s here, he’s really here. Warmth means Chanyeol. Chanyeol means warmth. And he feels and loves both. 

"Sehun, faster or else I'll open a fucking hole in your ugly head!" His voice is so far yet close, Jongin can't decide where it comes from. Everything he hears feels like buzzing. "Jongin, Jongin. Try to stay awake for me, honey. We're almost here, alright?"

Jongin tries to nod his head but his head is too heavy to move or do anything. So he does the only thing he knows and gives in the darkness again. Warm hands on his face is the last thing he feels.

When he feels anything else other than numbness in his head and pain all over his body, he's being carried on a stretcher this time and not in Chanyeol's arms.

He realizes there are voices. Lots of voices. No, maybe screams. They're speaking too loud and fast to Jongin's liking. He can't make out what they're saying. The only thing he understands is Chanyeol's here with him and that's enough for Jongin to go back to the sweet sleep that calls for him. 

_"Everything's gonna be alright, Nini. I won't let anything happen to you."_ A pause. _"Anymore. I'm so sorry I failed you."_

 _No_ , Jongin wanted to say. _You didn't. I'll be the one who fails if I don't fucking wake up soon._

He needs to live. For Chanyeol. 

Those words repeat themselves over and over in his head.

Chanyeol knows he fails and leaves Jongin too many times to count in the past. It's not because he wanted to, but because he's always been afraid to stay. Stay in a specific place. Stay beside someone. Stay anywhere. Chanyeol has never stayed one place too long since he was a kid. He's never learnt how to stay because there was nothing and no one around him to stay for. He was too afraid to stay with someone longer than he intended. He was afraid of being left and hurt. Because you need to leave before the other leaves so as not to feel hurt. Chanyeol didn’t want to be the one tasting the bitter heartbreak after being left, hence he chose to leave. He knows he's a coward despite looking nothing alike that outside with those fierce eyes of him screams anger. He needs to look hard outside. Cold. Heartless. Bastard. He needs to have all those titles on him in order to be respected. If he lets one little thing slide, he's a lost man. Life is a game that gives you no chance to start over again and Chanyeol's dead if he doesn't hide his feelings deep inside of him. Feelings are evil. Feelings are an obstacle that always find a way to come at and destroy you. They always ruin you. 

He did the first mistake when he decided to start dating Kyungsoo. It was a mistake he should have never made but he ignored the warnings in his head and instead listened to his heart for the first time, and just hoped the things would go his way. It actually did on the first period. Going romantic dates in public to practically living together. There were no arguments, nor disagreements. Then conflicts began arise, following fights which were never being solved out and put aside just like that. Suddenly all the problems they’d collected started coming at them and Chanyeol found comfort in another arms. However, Chanyeol cherished their every moment. But Chanyeol also feared for their every moment. One little mistake and Kyungsoo's gone. He always thought like that. He was afraid of losing Kyungsoo. Because of himself. Despite the fact that Kyungsoo himself knows how to hold a gun and use it almost like a pro, Chanyeol is afraid of dragging him along with his shitty life. He‘s already done that, though. Unfortunately, Chanyeol has an ability to fuck whoever he comes across lives up and it's not something he's proud of. It's a curse and he goddamn knows it. Gods gave him a curse that will be forever in his way no matter what he chooses. He's managed to fuck others' lives up. Even his own family once told him that, too. 

And the worst of it, he's still shamelessly fucking his beloved ones lives. So maybe, or really, he was born to fuck lives as he’s told. 

But, with Jongin, things were different. Despite dragging him into his shitty life, Chanyeol also saved him. He gave him a better breath. He offered him a home. He welcomed him in his arms. He didn't ask anything in return. He just told him to never break his trust in him. He trusted him deeply. And Jongin vowed to never leave him. So, that was exactly why he was never afraid of losing Jongin. It wasn't even a case with him like Kyungsoo as he knows Jongin will never leave him. Would never. Ever. Even though Chanyeol left him too many times, Jongin just kept waiting for him, he waited for Chanyeol to crawl back to him again. So yeah, Chanyeol didn't doubt Jongin's promise for once. 

Yet, now, like right now, he's a little bit scared that Jongin's having a hard time keeping his promise. He's not the type to break promises but Chanyeol is just so scared. For the first time ever since he put himself in this fucked up dangerous life, Chanyeol's scared as hell. Not for his own life, but for someone's life. Someone so important to him. Someone so special. Someone he didn't treat right like he deserved. He’s beyond ‘someone’ for Chanyeol. Jongin has been the only one who has ever listened to his stupid, childish dreams and not laughed at his face. He's been the only one who is able to cope with his tantrums. Perhaps, he's the only one who really knows him. Even Chanyeol himself can't figure out his own nature. It's kind of scary Jongin knows Chanyeol better than himself. He knows what, and when, Chanyeol needs. He always hears him out even if it's so silly or meaningless. He cares for him. He loves him. 

And Chanyeol doesn't deserve him. He doesn't deserve Jongin. But look where Jongin is now. In a place where Chanyeol never wants to be here. In a group of people which Chanyeol doesn't want to see. Jongin's right behind the walls Chanyeol leans against his forehead, holding on to his dear life tightly. Honestly, Chanyeol has never been the type to pray for anything. He had never any need to pray. He has got everything. He has got nothing to lose —or at least that was what he thought before this. Before Jongin. This is the first time Chanyeol has come face to face with something like that. The closest thing to losing someone very important to him since his mother died years ago. He still can't shake off how he felt when they lost contact with Jongin. It felt like a bullet in the heart even though Chanyeol had never gotten himself shot there. Oh man, he thought he'd go crazy with every second that goes by without Jongin. What ifs in his mind... He doesn't want to remember those moments ever in his life. He can't even imagine finding Jongin's soulless body, god, no. But what if? Chanyeol hates thinking about all the terrible possibilities that would end up him going crazy. In no way does he want a life without Jongin in it. All he has been doing since they found Jongin is praying. To whoever out there. He's praying for once in his life and he hopes it'll also be his last. 

Jongin has to keep his promise. Chanyeol knows he won't give up so easily. Jongin is brave and strong. He will live for Chanyeol. He once told him he'd die for him. Kill for him. But no, Jongin won't fucking die for Chanyeol tonight. He will wake up, smile dazedly at him and joke about how Chanyeol couldn't get rid of him. Then, Chanyeol will be the one who is gonna kill for him. Kill whoever dares to touch his Jongin. However, he needs to be here for him now. He well knows Jongin is going to ask for him the moment he regains his consciousness. He'll most probably throw a tantrum if he doesn't see Chanyeol in twenty seconds when he wakes up, or maybe ten. Chanyeol's pretty sure Jongin will cause chaos in the hospital 'till he can see him... Chanyeol has no thoughts about leaving him anytime, though. Not tonight. 

Tonight he stays.

It feels like rebirthing when Jongin finally wakes up from his endless dream. Throat dry and head less pounding but still it’s there. So, it wasn’t a nightmare, he thinks. That shit really happened. He blinks his eyes a few times to clear his vision as he glances at the hospital room he’s resting. The room is big; however, there’s only one bed and a chair beside him. He realizes he’s not alone, Chanyeol is lying uncomfortably on the chair and sleeping with his brows furrowed. It’s funny how the monitor that shows his heartbeat rate goes crazy when he sees Chanyeol. “Fuck...” He mumbles under his breath, trying to calm the fuck his heart down but the more he imagines Chanyeol waiting for him to wake up the louder the beeping sound gets. He’s gonna wake Chanyeol up if his stupid heart doesn’t stop his pace. “Why are you doing this to me, you little bitch? It’s not the right time, really. You should stop it.” He was about to hit his chest with a scowl when he felt a tight hold around his wrist. “Don’t. I like hearing your heartbeat.”

And here goes the monitor crazy again... Jongin closes his eyes in embarrassment but he doesn’t miss the smirk on Chanyeol’s handsome face. “Oh my god, I’m going to die.” Chanyeol’s hold tightens at this and he shoots his eyes open when he realizes what he just said. He knows Chanyeol doesn’t take jokes well. “No, don’t you ever say that again Jongin. I’m not gonna let you die.”

He can’t help grinning at him. “Is that so, baby? Well, you must know that I’m not gonna let you get rid of me so easily.” This makes Chanyeol laugh a bit like Jongin said something really funny. “Hey! It’s not a joke, I’m really serious. You won’t get rid of me.”

“Who says I want that?”

Jongin shuts his mouth up. Well, okay. Chanyeol doesn’t think about getting rid of him, good. Wow. “I want to suck your dick right now but as you can see I’m not in a good condition. Pfft. It sucks.”

Chanyeol bursts out laughing this time. Loud and long. It lasts longer than usual which Jongin really appreciates. It’s so nice hearing his laughing right after he woke up. “I can’t believe the first thing you want after sleeping two days is sucking my dick!”

“What? Two days is pretty long enough to miss your dick. If only I wasn’t so tired...”

Chanyeol’s smile fades and his face gets serious as he leans closer to Jongin. “Do you have any pain or ache? Tell me what you need and I’ll get it for you.” Jongin halts before speaking, confused a little bit. “I don’t... But a glass of water would be great.”

Chanyeol immediately gets up to bring him a glass of water just like he asked. He even helps him to drink carefully and wipes his mouth clean afterwards. Jongin just stays put in disbelief as he watches the scene, head empty. He wasn’t used to being treated like this by Chanyeol. It had been always the other way around. Jongin was shocked and speechless, that’s all. It seems like Chanyeol’s changing. Jongin’s used to him like this. However, he can’t tell that it doesn’t do things to him. All he wants to do is grabbing him by the neck and kiss him full on the mouth. But his breath probably stinks, ew. He really needs to recover immediately. He gotta suck that dick, man. Sometimes being horny all the time is not nice during times like this. It fucking sucks!

“Good now? Anything else you need?” 

Jongin stares at him for a whole minute. “Are you sure I only slept two days? It doesn’t feel like it...” Maybe he lied to him and Jongin actually slept throughout the year. It may have happened because then it’d explain why Chanyeol’s acting so different than he did only three days ago. Chanyeol stops moving and looks Jongin right in the eyes. “Is there a problem? Are you having a hard time remembering—“ Jongin feels the urge to cut him off as he bombards with questions. “No, Chanyeol, it’s okay. I’m fine. Really. I’m just... surprised, that’s all.”

“Oh.” Chanyeol leans back against his chair. “Look, Jongin. I’ve never been this worried, you know. I can’t even imagine— Fuck it. I won’t ever let something like this happen again. You’re going to stay with me from now on, ‘kay?”

How can Jongin say no to this? In no fucking way does it happen. “Yeah, okay.” He says as if it doesn’t excite him at all, trying to act all cool but he forgets his new enemy— stupid monitor. That bitch… “Where do I turn this fucking piece of shit off?!” Jongin grumbles, looking for any button or something to turn it off. It can’t expose him like that in front of Chanyeol! He has a huge problem with it.

Chanyeol just laughs at him, clearly enjoying the redness creeping onto Jongin’s cheeks. Cute, he thinks. He’s still cute even after an awful accident. Chanyeol suddenly feels sick to his stomach at the recall of the accident that he shouldn’t have let it happen in the first place. He can’t believe he really put him at risk. He won’t forgive himself for that unless he takes revenge of it.

Jongin realizes the sudden shift in his expression. “What’s with the face? Already regretting your decision?”

Chanyeol quickly shakes his head. “No, no. I’ve been thinking.” A pause and Jongin understands. He sighs deeply. “You know, I was more worried about breaking my promise to you. Nothing scared me more than that.” 

Chanyeol leans closer to him and reaches for his hand to hold. “I know. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known, Jongin. Fuck, I’m just so angry at myself. Did he... Did anything happen? You don’t have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Jongin finds himself in that dark night again, lying on the ground helplessly. This time, however, Chanyeol’s right next to him, knowing he’s here and holding his hand makes him feel safe. Jongin remembers every little thing about that night vividly and sickeningly. How Ravi drugged him, made him feel sick and told nonsense shits. He remembers the words that echoed in his ears. The worst part of it is he also remembers himself trowing outside the car clearly. He remembers how he rolls on the ground. On and on. He remembers the pain coming after numbness. He remembers Chanyeol and this is all. The only thing matters the most is Chanyeol for Jongin.

“He injected something into my arm that makes my body go numb. I couldn’t move but I was able to hear him and see what was going on.” Suddenly his throat goes dry again. “He told me some things. Stupid things.” He forces a laugh. “He said that he’ll come for us and steal your throne. Can you believe it? He’s such a fool to even think about this!”

“What else did he say?”

Jongin lied. “Nothing. He then threw me outside his car. Yeah, just like that. Anyways. I’m good now.” Despite the broken of an arm, though. And a bandage around his neck. His left hand that Chanyeol’s not holding got casted, unfortunately. Thank god he’s right-handed. It’ll take a while but he hopes it won’t take too long for him to recover completely. There are things he needs to do. 

Chanyeol tightens his hold, jaw clenching. He doesn’t speak for a while and keeps glaring at the wall as if to open a hole in it. Jongin’s convinced that Chanyeol could definitely open a hole in the wall with his stares. Is it bad that it turns Jongin on? ‘Cause, fuck, he looks so hot. “I’m glad you’re good now. You’ll be better, I promise. Dr. Kim will take good care of you.”

“I’ll be better as long as I’m with you, don’t worry.” He takes Chanyeol’s hand to his mouth and plants a kiss on it. A small smile blooms on Chanyeol’s face that melts Jongin’s heart. They stare at each other without talking for a long time and Jongin thinks this is the most peaceful moment in his life. Their moment is interrupted by the knock on his door, then Sehun appears with a bucket of flowers in his hand, a scowl on his face but it goes away when he sees Jongin awake. “Jongin! You’re awake!”

He drops the flowers on the floor and runs towards him. Jongin doesn’t miss the grunt coming from Chanyeol as Sehun looks for a proper way to hug him. “Did you bring me flowers? You’re so sweet.” Jongin smiles widely at Sehun after he withdraws from their small hug, looking at the flowers lying on the floor. He misses the way Sehun and Chanyeol make eye contact. “Uh, someone ordered them for you. They are from that bastard. He really has the nerve to—“ Sehun is cut off by the sound of the chair Chanyeol was just sitting falling. Chanyeol storms off to the other side of room where the flowers lie, grabbing them harshly and looking for a card. The flowers, indeed, came from Ravi and Chanyeol feels the anger boiling inside him. What angers him more is what he said in the card.

**_‘Get well soon for me, honey. Will miss you until we see each other again._ **

**_Ravi.’_ **

Chanyeol breaks it into pieces and throws it along with the flowers to the bin. How dare he? He can’t believe he really had the nerve to do this.

“I’ll kill him.” He declares loudly in a determined voice. He will kill him for sure this time. He‘s going to show that bastard how much of a big mistake he’d made. He’s going to make sure he pays for what he’d done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what are your thoughts about this chapter i really really wanna know ajskszkl i hope you liked it bc i kinda like how things went?? cyeol being soft for jongin is why i‘m alive lmao
> 
> love y’all, don’t forget to leave comments and kudos!! <33


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update, i hope you enjoy reading it!

Jongin's been already recovered and feeling much better by the time Chanyeol declared that it was about time for him to discharge from hospital and move in with him. Though Jongin insisted he was fine and healed several times for the first few days in hospital, Chanyeol ignored him and made him stay a little longer. It's been one hell of a week for Jongin... There were four bodyguards Chanyeol personally chose for keeping their eyes on him when he was not there. Two of them were inside the room with him meanwhile the other two watched over outside, scaring every passer by with the way their bodies are built, making them look menacing as hell. Jongin knows them all, so it didn't make him feel uncomfortable as he thought. It just felt bored, that's all. Sehun and Chanyeol kept their promises, though. They visited him almost every day, cheering him up with their sweet but short talks. Jongin wished they would have stayed a little longer but they were 'very busy' at the moment as Sehun stated. So, Jongin didn't dare to whine about their short visits. And he also guessed the reason they were very busy was probably Ravi. They've been looking for Ravi everywhere yet what they have found so far was nothing. Nothing. As if Ravi hasn't ever been in the world. And it irritated Chanyeol as much as it did for Jongin. All he wanted to do was bang Ravi's head against a wall over and over again when they finally found him. Well, if they ever found him...

After the awful days stuck in a hospital room, however, Chanyeol finally took him home. Jongin has been a tough guy. It takes a lot of effort to make him trust something. Well, yeah, he trusts Chanyeol to the death but this was something else he didn't think it'd happen. So yeah, he continued not believing he's going to live with the man he's in love, Park Chanyeol, for real throughout the ride. How could Jongin believe in a offer like that? Of course he'd first thought he misheard Chanyeol because of all the heavy medicines they gave him to ease his pain. Why would Chanyeol want to let him move into his damn house, right? However, Chanyeol brought up the subject later on when Jongin had woken up from a little nap, still feeling kinda goofy from it. The first thought that came to his mind was Chanyeol was absolutely fucking with him. But one look at Chanyeol and he realized how deadly serious Chanyeol was. It took Jongin awhile to actually believe it. Even so, some boring days in his hospital room, at such ridiculous times, he would text or call Chanyeol to ask him over and over again to make sure he hasn't changed his mind about him moving into his house yet until Chanyeol's had enough. Even though Chanyeol tried his very best to stay calm whilst answering him in a reassuring voice 'Yes, you're going to stay with me' and 'No, I won't change my mind', Jongin was scared his insistency will be the cause of Chanyeol losing his temper in the end, then he'll being kicked out of his house without even moving in. So yeah, Jongin decided not to believe it until he sees with his own eyes.

Despite all of this, Jongin makes it home eventually and for real. He's not being tricked. Nor it was a joke. All of his belongings are already in his new room waiting to be placed in the packages when he arrives there. Jongin didn't have a lot of stuffs at his now old home as he only used his home for sleeping and showering, so there were just expensive clothes Jongin spent all of his money inside them. The room Chanyeol himself especially chose for him is big, as expected, than his old one. Well, to be honest, every fucking room in this house is big because Park Chanyeol likes the luxury. There's nothing in the world he likes more than showing off. He likes spending his money on non-essential things that he won't ever look at again and he also likes the attention it brings with his loaded money. He's the richest bastard everyone hates but envies a lot. People lick his ass for his wealth only, and not to be killed maybe. Jongin was, too, one of them when he was on the street before he found him. He hated those bastards who have got enough money to live the rest of their lives without a fucking worry. He was mad at them for being born with a silver spoon in their mouths. He had always imagined having lots of money, not caring a bit while spending it on useless things, to the point that he wouldn't know what to do with it. He'd wanted to know the feeling of its power. He'd wanted to live like a millionaire.

Instead, Chanyeol provided him the life of a billionaire. Jongin later realized you didn't need to have a lot of money to become a billionaire. Loving someone would make you the richest one in the world anyway.

"What do you think?" Startled by the voice of said man, Jongin turns around to see him standing at the door, looking fine as hell in his black suit as if to tempt Jongin on his first day here. There's a concerned look on his handsome face he can't hide well like he's afraid Jongin wouldn't like his new room. Afraid? As if. It's not like him. Park Chanyeol doesn't afraid of anything. "Do you like it? If you don't, you can take the spare room upstairs."

"No! No, no. It's gorgeous. I like it, really. Thank you again." His reply comes almost immediately which surprises Chanyeol a bit, not expecting Jongin to be this excited. Of fucking course Jongin likes—hell no, he has fallen in love with this room! It's just two rooms away from Chanyeol's own bedroom, how could Jongin not like it? Pfft, it's impossible. He'll thank god for his gift every night before going to sleep.n

"I'm glad you like it. You can design the room however you want. It's yours from now on. Tell me if you need anything."

Jongin doesn't miss the opportunity and takes a step closer to him with a smirk. "I need you." He counted the days for putting his hands on him. Chanyeol's touch was what he craved the most those past days in the hospital. Nothing but his touch. He _lusted_. He _wanted_. He _needed_. He _missed_ it.

"Not now, Jongin." Chanyeol warns him when Jongin invades his personal space and wraps his hands around the nape of Chanyeol's neck. He feels Chanyeol sighing as though he's having a hard time resisting himself. Jongin can see the way Chanyeol holds himself back. Feel the way his muscles tense. He wants Chanyeol to release himself. He wants Chanyeol to free himself. He knows Chanyeol wants it. "You want it, too. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to yourself."

"Jongin..." Chanyeol sighs heavily after Jongin brushes his lips with his own in a teasing way. "You missed me, too." Jongin presses their foreheads together. They're so close that their breaths mix, lips brushing and the next thing Jongin knows is Chanyeol's pressing his back to the wall harshly and kissing him fiercely. Jongin moans both at the hard hit and the feeling of Chanyeol's lips against his as he opens his mouth to let Chanyeol's tongue in, pulling him closer by the neck. It always amazes Jongin how much he misses Chanyeol. Even after only a day, he starts missing him. Hours are not enough, nor are days. He wants to have Chanyeol only to himself for days, weeks, years. It's never enough. Jongin always craves for more. More and more. He knows that he's being selfish, that Chanyeol isn't his, and plus he will never belong to him. Yet, Jongin always keeps wanting and wanting. And Chanyeol keeps giving and giving and then taking. He leaves and leaves but crawls back always. The only thing that won't ever change in their situation Jongin knows by heart is Chanyeol will never be tired of coming back to him. He's going to keep coming back to Jongin. Because there will be no one except Jongin that understands him better than himself in the whole world even though he can't admit that aloud. Jongin knows it, still he's so fucking scared that one day someone will appear out of nowhere, walk into Chanyeol's life and take over Jongin's place in it. No. Jongin won't ever let something like that happen. Never. Not when he keeps breathing in this world. Not when he's alive anyway.

"W-Wait," Jongin tries to pull away from the kiss to talk but it seems Chanyeol doesn't want to stop any minute now. He continues peppering kisses all over his face even when Jongin begins talking. "Admit that you missed me. Don't you think I deserved to hear?"

Chanyeol ignores him, not even considering Jongin's words, capturing his lips with his own. Well, Jongin's not buying any of that. Not today. He's gonna get what he wants. "I won't let you kiss me until you admit it, baby. I wanna hear." Chanyeol makes a face after Jongin pushes him away strong enough to shake him off. A look of surprise passes his face for a second, then he's chasing after the kiss that was broken by Jongin. He literally looks like a kicked puppy after Jongin once again prevents him from trying to kiss him. Ah, Jongin just wants to pull him back and kiss him full on the mouth but not until he hears the magic words... But not now.

The thing is... Chanyeol's a fucking stubborn. And it won't be that easy to hear him say it. "Jongin, I don't play games anymore."

"It's not that hard. C'moon!"

Chanyeol stays still and keeps staring at him for a whole minute. Maybe two. "Oh my god, just say it!" It sure feels sooo long when Chanyeol finally gives in. "I missed you. Happy now?"

Jongin gives him the biggest smile ever. "Yeah, I'm so happy. Now you can kiss me." Chanyeol doesn't waste any second and dives back into the kiss, sucking on Jongin's bottom lip until it's swollen. The kiss is full of passion and hunger, paying for all the days without touching each other. Chanyeol's hands are everywhere on his body, wandering up and down, from his neck to his hips, stroking every part of his body along the way. Jongin has never felt this hot. So hot. All over. He burns whenever Chanyeol's around. A fire starts in his heart whenever Chanyeol's with him. His skin burning along with his heart. The feelings he has for Chanyeol is really something else Jongin won't ever understand. He just can't imagine himself stop loving Chanyeol. Loving him feels like breathing. And he knows he will love him unconditionally until he breathes his last, too.

"Chanyeol..." He gulps down the 'I love you' that stays at the tip of his tongue. He doesn't want to say it when he knows Chanyeol won't return. "Hm?" Chanyeol hums as he sucks at his neck. "Please." Jongin begs for anything and he sounds so desperate that Chanyeol growls at his tiny voice, sucking deep. Jongin pushes his hips against Chanyeol's, making both of them gasp at the friction. Fuck. He's so so needy. Chanyeol's hands, tongue and taste are driving him crazy. He could just fuck him against th—

"Uh, yeah. Chanyeol must be in Jongin's room, Kyungsoo. Here." They suddenly stop upon hearing Sehun's voice and the steps coming towards them. "Shit." Chanyeol pulls away from Jongin with a bewildered look and tries to fix his hair hurriedly before the door of his room opening. "I forgot to tell you he's coming." is the last thing Jongin hears before the door bursts open and reveal the last person Jongin wants to see at the moment, none other than Do Kyungsoo. Jongin wants to curse at his bad luck. Of course Kyungsoo would cockblock them. It is his life purpose after all. He wants to separate them so bad.

"There you are, Chanyeol." Kyungsoo says in a knowing tone, eyes going back and forth between him and Jongin. It's pretty obvious what they were doing before they came here. Both of their lips are red and swollen, hairs disheveled, and with an evident tent in their pants. Kyungsoo only stares at Chanyeol with an unreadable look on his face. He's not surprised, not even a bit, as it isn't the first time he's caught Chanyeol doing something like that with others. Kyungsoo has always known. Chanyeol warned him back then. What he was getting himself into. He told him very clearly. And Kyungsoo took all the risks and accepted it. He knew what he got himself into from the very start and yet.

And yet, he can't help feeling his heart breaking every time he comes across a situation like this. He was fine with all of it as long as he couldn't witness with his own eyes.

He clears his throat before speaking again, finding kinda hard to swallow at the moment. It's always Jongin or somebody Chanyeol won't ever see again. But it's always, always Jongin.

"Hi, Kai." Kyungsoo never calls him Jongin. Always Kai. He doesn't prefer calling him by his real name and Jongin himself also doesn't like hearing it from people he's not close as well. Obviously, they're not close. And they will never be close. They'll always remain as enemies who hate each other. "Sorry to hear what happened last week. Chanyeol took really good care of you."

Jongin forces a small smile. "Hi, Kyungsoo Yeah, Chanyeol really did. Look, he even shared his house with me! I owe him a lot."

Kyungsoo gives him the same smile Jongin forced. "Isn't he so cute? Always protecting the miserables. He's such an angel." He closes the distance and hugs Chanyeol tightly, rubbing his head against his boyfriend's shoulder like a kitten that seeks attention from his owner. Chanyeol's hands automatically find themselves winding around his boyfriend's small body, making him look even tiny in his arms. Of course he notices the implication in Kyungsoo's words and all he can do is just pray for Jongin to remain silent about it for once. It never ends up well when they're in the same room and start bickering.

Jongin ignores Kyungsoo for the sake of the heated kiss before it was interrupted. Today is a beautiful day. He's in a good mood since the start and nothing could ruin it. Not even Do Kyungsoo.

"An angel, indeed." He just murmurs under his breath while hiding his smirk with a hand. "So, what brings you here?" He didn't expect him to appear on Jongin's first day here. He didn't even think about him at all.

"I wanted to wish you well and see my lovely boyfriend." Kyungsoo replies without even looking at his direction, smiling cutely at Chanyeol instead. He's being unusually clingy in front of Jongin on purpose and everyone in this room knows it well because Kyungsoo doesn't like public display of affection. He only tolerates it when he's around Jongin.

"Good. Your job here is done. You can leave now." Jongin shows the door for him even though he's still not staring at him. "Jongin." is what he gets as a warning from Chanyeol instead. He hates it. He hates it when Chanyeol goes all protective over Kyungsoo. He hates it so much.

"Can all of you please get out of my room? I want to rest." He holds the door open for them including Sehun who has stayed silent during all the conversation. He looks like he's ready to dive in when Jongin and Kyungsoo start fighting. "Okay, Jongin. We're leaving now." He He directs Kyungsoo towards the room with a hand around his waist. Jongin averts his gaze away. There's a victorious smile on Kyungsoo's face that Jongin wants to punch so bad.

Chanyeol stops when they're passing by him, resting his hand on Jongin's shoulder as he tells him, "Rest well, alright? Call Sehun when you need anything. He'll be here all day."

He assigned Sehun to be his fucking bodyguard, huh? Perfect. As if Jongin can't protect himself. As if this house is not protected! Oh right, he won't be here when he needs anything because his so lovely boyfriend is here to make him busy all day.

"Just leave!"

With that, they leave him alone in his new room. They leave an already exhausted and heartbroken Jongin alone.

💎

Jongin must've fallen asleep at some point during sulking over the earlier incident. He wakes up to the sound of low whisper. No, whispers. Two person speaking in a low tone in his room as if they don't want to wake Jongin up but it's late. Jongin has been already awoken. He peeks at whose the owners of those voices secretly, not wanting to attract attention. He sees Sehun and Baekhyun talking with each other on the other side of the room, stupid smiles on both their faces. They were so lost in their conversation that they didn't even realize Jongin straightening up in his bed and watching them for a few minutes. God, they were stupidly in love with each other and yet none of them had realized that their feelings were mutual. Sometimes he just wants to hold their heads and make them kiss, but then Chanyeol appears in his mind and he dismisses those thoughts. Chanyeol really doesn't like sharing his adorable brother with anyone in this business. Well, it could be said 'in this world' too. He doesn't like sharing his brother. They've seen the consequences of it in the past. Well, it did end up really bad and most probably that's one of the reasons why Sehun hasn't still said a word to him.

"What're you two talking about? I got you!" They stop talking immediately at the sudden voice, turning their heads to the other person that barged in their conversation out of nowhere. "Jonginie! You're awake baby!" Baekhyun clearly ignores his question and just runs excitedly towards him, engulfing him in a tight hug instead. "Ahh, I'm sooo glad you're okay. What would I do without you? Who would help me pissing Chanyeol off, huh? You scared the shit out of me, bitch! I love you so much..."

"You just love me because I'm the only person who can get on your brother's nerves without getting shot in the head besides you."

"Exactly! That's why I need you to be alive." Baekhyun giggles as he plants a sloppy kiss on his forehead before withdrawing the hug that warms Jongin's inside. Jongin doesn't know why but he's always loved Baekhyun since the first time he saw him. Maybe it has to do with Baekhyun carrying the same blood with Chanyeol. Whatever the reason, they hit it off immediately after they were being introduced. They got along pretty well. It's because they both like talking behind Chanyeol's back. It feels nice to talk about things like that with someone so close to Chanyeol. And he also really likes hearing Baekhyun's blabbering.

"I got you a gift! Uhm, Sehun, can you help me carrying it..?"

Sehun nods his head immediately, looking like an excited puppy waiting for his reward, and goes to help Baekhyun with that huge pocket sitting on the floor at the door. "Oh. What is it? It's really huge, Baekhyun!"

"Open it! I hope you like it, Nini." Baekhyun says after putting the gift right in front of his bed with the help of Sehun, breathing heavily.

Jongin gets out of the bed with a curios look in his eyes, tearing the pocket into pieces without waiting until it reveals his gift. A big teddy bear. Well, it's big big, like they're almost the same height... He doesn't have any idea how Baekhyun found this big teddy bear. "Ta-daa! I know Chanyeol's not always home. Then I thought of getting you something like this so that you wouldn't feel lonely. They say it gives great hugs by the way."

"Oh, is that so? Let me try it." Jongin hugs the teddy bear and it almost feels like he's actually hugging a real person. But it feels much softer, not hard like Chanyeol's chest. God. Why is he comparing a teddy bear to a jerk like him? It's an insult!

He sends Baekhyun's way a warm smile. "Thank you. It's so cute. Like you."

Baekhyun makes an aw sound, putting his hand on his chest jokingly, right where his heart is. "I'm melting! You're the cutest, Jongin. Always be happy. I really love your smile."

"Stoooop!" Jongin hides his flushed cheeks by burying his head into the teddy bear's big chest. "You're gonna make me cry. I hate your stupid brother so much. I should have fallen for you instead."

Sehun clears his throat as if to remind him that he is here, he's the one who's fallen for Baekhyun and that he should be careful of what he's saying. Jongin shoots him a shitty grin. Sehun's not very subtle sometimes.

"We'd be a great couple!" Baekhyun joins him, too, which makes Sehun's eyes widen in alert. He breaks in by saying, "You forgot to give Jongin the chocolates you brought, Baekhyun."

"Oh, right! Thanks for reminding me, Sehunie."

And all it takes is Baekhyun saying 'Sehunie' for someone tough like Sehun to melt... It's crazy how soft Sehun is for Baekhyun and yet Baekhyun isn't aware of anything. Nevertheless, they're cute together and Jongin's rooting for them to happen.

"Thank you, Baek. You didn't need to get me all of this. Really. You're so sweet." He wishes his brother were like that, too. But he's a jerk. Certified jerk.

"Oh, it's no big deal. I should've got you something bigger. Anyways. I've got nothing to do today, so I'm here to entertain you while Chanyeol's gone. We're gonna have soooo much fun!"

Jongin and Sehun share a look, and it tells everything. They're fucked up. Last time Baekhyun said they're gonna have so much fun, one of Chanyeol's men got shot accidentally. Thank god he didn't die otherwise Chanyeol would've gone mad. Even so, Jongin is kinda scared about what would happen this time. All he can do is hope that no one dies today. He's just recovered recently...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so we finally met kyungsoo and baekhyun properly! what do you think about their characters? lemme hear your thoughts about this chapter hehe
> 
> now i'm gonna promote my sebaek fic that i published while i was gone. it's called 'want your love in every flavor' if you wanna read ^-^
> 
> take care of yourselves, love you all!!! 💘💘💘
> 
> [ my twitter ](https://twitter.com/cyeolkai?s=21)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii yes i changed the name of the fic AGAIN bc i couldn't find the perfect title to suit the fic & i'm a libra lmao
> 
> for anyone who forgets the fic, its previous name was 'ghost of you'. i hope you don't mind the changing and i promise there won't be any change from now on (i hope so)
> 
> sorry for being like 3 months late, i've been busy and feeling down but i'm finally feeling better hehe SOOO here's a chapter from kyungsoo's pov. i hope you like it!!

Kyungsoo notices the little changes, of course. He notices Chanyeol has started to change gradually after the Jongin incident. Before that, Chanyeol's first priority would be Kyungsoo. He'd come to see him as soon as he woke up, but it changed when Jongin got hurt. Rather, he went to see Jongin as soon as he woke up, because 'Soo, he's hurt and needs company, I can't leave him alone'. Kyungsoo understood and never complained about the situation. Despite their mutual hatred, Kyungsoo didn't wish anything bad for Jongin. Well, he's wished him to disappear too many times but never like this. Besides, Chanyeol would be destroyed if something lethally ever happened to Jongin. And Kyungsoo couldn't bear seeing the man he loves in pain. So, however big his hatred is, Kyungsoo never wishes evilness for Jongin. 

First, Chanyeol starts to lessen his visits. Then, he starts to talk a lot about Jongin and becomes soft. He starts smiling more and more each day Jongin gets better. And Kyungsoo has noticed all of this progress. It's sickening. To witness how dangerous the situation becomes. To witness the love of his life growing away from him each day. It's not like Chanyeol has stopped giving him attention and love. He does still love him, Kyungsoo's sure as hell. It's just... There's also Jongin, now. There's been always Jongin, though, but now more of him. Less of Kyungsoo. Chanyeol now pays half of his attention to Jongin. He takes care of him. All of this is driving Kyungsoo insane. Before all of this, he's been never scared of losing Chanyeol to Jongin. Back then, he knew that he got Chanyeol wrapped around his finger and that Chanyeol loved only him. There was only Kyungsoo in Chanyeol's mind. Chanyeol warned him back then about his infidelity. He told him clearly that he'd sometimes fuck around because he's not the best guy in the world. But he promised him. He promised him his heart would belong to him only. So yeah, Kyungsoo knew there were others that pleasured him, too. Sure, Jongin and Chanyeol fucked a lot. But, one thing that has never changed for sure was Chanyeol would always go back to him after he took his pleasure no matter what. 

And then, it also starts to change and Kyungsoo has never been this scared. He's been never this close to losing Chanyeol. Ever since that awful accident, Chanyeol becomes more distant towards him and instead grows closer to Jongin. It's killing him. It’s killing him so much. He doesn't want to lose Chanyeol. But he's also aware of the situation and Chanyeol's feelings. Those feelings that were once hidden deep inside him for the sake of Kyungsoo. Now this sudden change has stirred Chanyeol's feelings and they aren't stoppable, rising to the surface day by day. Kyungsoo is more scared that Chanyeol'll realize the meaning of them sooner than later instead of the presence of his feelings. Chanyeol is so fucking oblivious of his feelings which have been kept hidden for a very long time. What scared Kyungsoo the most is the fact that Chanyeol will realize what they mean one day. Kyungsoo is fine as long as Chanyeol's blind to it. If he finally realize it, then Kyungsoo’s fucked up.

Even now, Jongin is all Chanyeol can think of. It's so irritating. This date has to be about just the of them. They missed each other and decided to go on a date to spend some time with each other, together, alone. But Chanyeol cannot stop talking about Jongin, always bringing him into the topic they’re talking and referring every useless things to him. Even though he's not present, Jongin is all inside Chanyeol's head. 

And fuck his stupid smile that blooms on his face every time Jongin's name is mentioned. 

"I'm thinking about throwing a recovery party for Jongin. Like a welcome back party. Oh, and I had dinner prepared tonight. It'll be among a few people he's close with though because I thought he would want some peace on his first day. The party will be on tomorrow night."

The only thing Kyungsoo concludes from all of the things Chanyeol said is, "So you're not staying over tonight. And tomorrow night as well." 

It's been a while since he last stayed over and he promised Kyungsoo that he'd fix it when things calm down a bit. Kyungsoo believed him. This whole date was supposed to be about him and Kyungsoo. About them. But it was ruined yet again. Because of Jongin. 

Chanyeol finally notices the sour look on his boyfriend's face, reaching out to hold his hand over the table. "You're staying over tonight, babe. And the next day as well."

Kyungsoo forces a knowing smile as he replies, "I don't think he would want to see me on his party or dinner. I'm not even invited."

"Who says you're not invited? Of course you're invited, babe. You have access to everything I have, don't you know?" Chanyeol gives the back of his hand a kiss. "Jongin won't cause any trouble, don't worry about it."

I'm not fucking worried about it, Kyungsoo wants to say. He wants to yell at his face. I'm worried about you, asshole. About us. 

"Still, he won't be so pleased to see me there. You know how I don't like getting into an argument with him." He sighs, even the thought of them bickering exhausts Kyungsoo. 

"Yeah, neither do I." Chanyeol sighs as well, checking his watch. "I'll make sure you won't get into any kind of arguments, alright? We should head back now. The dinner will be served in an hour."

Kyungsoo just nods his head in defeat, accepting Chanyeol's hand to exit the cafe together and preparing himself mentally for the dinner throughout the ride. He could picture the look on Jongin's face when he sees him on the dinner table, probably throwing a rude remark under his breath. He’s already so used to Jongin’s behaviors. Kyungsoo has never hated someone this much and he's pretty sure Jongin has never hated, too. His eyes would get really poisonous and dangerous whenever Kyungoo is around. He would always stare at him as if he wants to erase all of Kyungsoo’s traces in the world all the time. If looks could kill, Kyungsoo would be dead by now. He wants him to disappear from Chanyeol’s life. Because Kyungsoo owns Chanyeol's heart. Because he's Chanyeol's boyfriend. Because Chanyeol comes back to him no matter what. Because Chanyeol loves him. 

Because Kyungsoo wins whatever the war they are in. He wins and Jongin hates losing it. But now the tables have turned. This time, Kyungsoo is the one losing. 

Jongin is winning. 

Still, he has a victorious smile on his face when they enter the house together, Chanyeol's arm around his waist protectively. He can't let his bitterness show. He can't give Jongin the satisfaction to see him like that. Instead, he receives the bitter look on Jongin's face when he realizes him coming towards the table with Chanyeol. He snorts loudly upon seeing them, mumbling something under his breath which earns him an elbow from Baekhyun sitting next to him. Great. He also has got Baekhyun with him. Tonight couldn't have been better. 

Kyungsoo resists the urge to let out a big sigh and sits on the left side of Chanyeol whose place is always at the end of the table like the boss he is. Kyungsoo stays on his left while Jongin's on his right. It's because Jongin is his right hand. The one he trusts him the most among his men. Trusts him with his life. Jongin is dangerous when it comes to Chanyeol, everyone knows that. He could kill anyone who dares to hurt Chanyeol without batting an eye. He could even kill Kyungsoo when Chanyeol gets tired of him and doesn't want to do anything with him anymore. Well, Chanyeol wouldn't order something like that when it happens though. But, Jongin would definitely kill Kyungsoo if he ever breaks Chanyeol's heart for sure. Jongin told it himself when they first met. With all the seriousness. While holding his gun. 

Kyungsoo wouldn't break Chanyeol's heart even if he wanted. 

"How was your first day?" Chanyeol's question interrupts Kyungsoo's thoughts, everyone at the table turning their heads to Jongin curiously. Jongin smiles widely as he gazes at Baekhyun with a knowing glint in his eyes. They both giggle as though they think about the same thing. Kyungsoo has always envied their relationship. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun are actually good friends. They don't have a single problem with each other. Kyungsoo even lets him squish his cheeks, so he thinks their bond is sort of strong. But... the thing is Baekhyun and Jongin have known each other for a long time, and Baekhyun usually sticks to his side whenever Jongin's around. Kyungsoo gets it, okay. They’ve been friends before Kyungsoo came into the picture. However, he can't help wishing Baekhyun would love him as much as he loves Jongin someday. Who wouldn't want to be closer to their boyfriend's brother? But Baekhyun's favorite is apparent. It's right in front of Kyungsoo's eyes. Damn it, he hates his bad luck for sitting across Jongin. He has to endure seeing his face when he eats. Well, if he can ear though. Suddenly he loses his appetite.

"It was fine. We had so much fun, right Sehun?" 

All of them turn to look at Sehun who has bruise on his left eye. Sehun rolls his eyes, nodding his head grudgingly.

"What happened to your eye?" Chanyeol asks with a confused voice, he didn't send Sehun to any tasks today. He specifically ordered him to watch over Jongin and Baekhyun. So, he's really curious about how did he manage to get a black eye. 

Sehun throws a quick glance at Baekhyun over the table, it doesn't miss Chanyeol's eyes. "It's nothing. I just happened to hit my face on the wall. I'm fine."

Chanyeol knows he's lying. More like, he's trying to protect someone. That someone may or may not be his little brother. Chanyeol's been aware of Sehun's infatuation with his brother since the start, but as long as he doesn't do something stupid like making a move on Baekhyun, Chanyeol's fine with it. He's dealt with so many men having crush on Baekhyun in the past, and he's still dealing with it, of course he's aware how attractive his brother is. But he decides not to meddle in unless they make a move on his brother. It's hard to put up with a lot of men, anyway. So yeah, he's not gonna give Sehun an earful as long as he knows his place. It’s because Chanyeol had never wanted Baekhyun to be involved into this world. But because of his father, Baekhyun had to face the reality of being born into a mob family. He didn't have a choice, so Chanyeol took his only choice to protect him from all of these evil things by being the head of the mob. He's wanted Baekhyun to be away from this world, providing the best security, yet he couldn't also let him go that far away. And Baekhyun also didn't want to be away from his family. So he chose to be close to them. After that, Chanyeol then decides to at least protect Baekhyun from involving himself with someone in this world. Baekhyun deserves the best. He deserves someone good, not with dirty hands. He deserves to be happy with that person, not stress over their life. He doesn't deserve someone from this world. Chanyeol won’t let it ever happen. 

"Tell me the truth, Sehun." He demands, voice all serious and Sehun has no other choice than telling the truth now. He sighs in defeat, his mouth opening and closing a few times. Chanyeol is about to scold him when Baekhyun suddenly chimes in. "We were playing billiard and I may have accidentally hit him with the stick. Uhm, hard. I lost myself in the moment." 

Jongin couldn't hide his giggles when Baekhyun tells the truth, remembering that exact moment the stick hit Sehun's eye. Baekhyun wasn't even playing when it happened. He was raising and shaking his hands up in victory, not realizing Sehun was just right behind him as always. It was Sehun's fault for standing so close to Baekhyun, though. That guy was so fucking whipped for Baekhyun.

"It's okay, though! It's not his fault." Sehun cuts in, raising his voice, feeling the need to take the blame. It doesn't surprise anyone around the table to witness Sehun going all protective over Baekhyun. It was kinda cute in Jongin's opinion, though. 

Chanyeol just shakes his head in disbelief as he stares at them, yet also enjoying it way too much inside despite not showing. He says nothing in return and the subject ends like that. 

The rest of the dinner goes uneventful despite the short glares between Jongin and Kyungsoo as expected. Kyungsoo notices Chanyeol's eyes lingering on Jongin more than him, making sure Jongin eats well and finishes his plate. Kyungsoo has never seen Chanyeol being this concerned about Jongin before. Maybe it has to do with the fact that Jongin nearly died that night. Maybe Chanyeol realized he could lose Jongin forever. 

And now he's finally appreciating Jongin when he's alive. He probably realized how important Jongin was to him. How precious. 

Kyungsoo gulps down the rest of his drink, he gulps down his bitterness as well. He needs to do something about the situation without it getting out of his control. He needs to take the control back. He needs to have Chanyeol back and Kyungsoo knows how to do it from the experience. He knows Chanyeol like the back of his hand. 

Sex is the best way for attracting Chanyeol's attention.

So, after the ending of the dinner and some agonizing conversation in the living room with whiskeys, everyone goes to sleep. Kyungsoo has been anticipating the moment to finally kiss Chanyeol and put his plan into action. Therefore, he hastily pulls Chanyeol down by the neck to slot their lips together as soon as they enter his room. Not wasting a second to undress him. Chanyeol doesn't object. He'd never object anything related to sex, anyway. He starts to unbutton his shirt while kissing him fiercely, Chanyeol leading them to bed by holding his waist. Kyungsoo's back meets the soft mattress when they finally get rid of their clothes, only their boxers stay on. 

"Wanted to do this since the dinner," Kyungsoo whispers against his lips as he palms him through his boxers, earning a moan. "I missed your dick."

"Well, my dick also missed you." Chanyeol grins, thrusting into his hand to prove it. He leans down, his lips finding Kyungsoo's neck and starting to leave kisses and bites there. Kyungsoo moans rather loudly intentionally. He's louder than any other day because he wants Jongin to hear his voice. Hear what they're about to do. He wants him to know what's going on inside.

When Chanyeol slips a lubed finger in, he lets out the loudest moan. "Chanyeol, oh my God, I missed you so much!"

His boyfriend's grin only widens, loving the sounds Kyungsoo make when he starts to finger him slowly to enjoy each moment. "I'm gonna make you feel so good, baby. I'm gonna make up all the days we didn't fuck." He kisses inside Kyungsoo's thighs and this time Kyungsoo doesn't need to exaggerate his moans because it feels really good. 

"Yes, please. Chanyeol, fuck me. I-I want you—" His voice gets interrupted by the sound of something breaking into pieces. They stop moving immediately and share a confused look. "Shit, it must be Jongin." Chanyeol says a beat later, his expression turning into an alarmed one, getting up from the bed to put on some clothes hurriedly. Kyungsoo, too, follows his movements and they run directly to Jongin's room. 

"Jongin! Are you okay?" Chanyeol asks once he enters the room, seeing the mess on the floor. What attracts Kyungsoo's attention more than the broken pieces is Jongin's look on his face when he looks at them. He's fuming. Kyungsoo doesn't need to ask Jongin to confirm it wasn't by accident. "Are you hurt? Let me see." Chanyeol begins to check out any scar on his skin, touching and turning around him, yet doesn't find anything. Jongin is still keeping his silent, letting Chanyeol worry about him over a fucking little thing like this. Kyungsoo grits his teeth as he stares at the scene in front of him, shaking his head and going back to the room bitterly.

Chanyeol doesn't come back immediately. He stays there for an hour, maybe two, Kyungoo doesn't remember. The only thing he remembers before falling asleep is him accepting the loss. His plan may have failed tonight. But he won't give up that easily. He's not losing as long as he has Chanyeol. As long as he distracts him from realizing.

Kyungsoo falls asleep with the image of Chanyeol looking so worried about Jongin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to leave kudos and comments!! i really appreciate your comments about the fic ❤️❤️❤️
> 
> i published a few fics in the meantime so if you love my writing style and are interested, you can check out my profile 🥰


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